Tag Archives: life

Well shit…I haven’t written a fucking word on this page in forfuckingever

And I can pretty much guarantee none of you really gave a shit that I have been gone for so long, fuck I don’t even care that I haven’t written in forever. I mean, I write every day, but I completely forgot about this blog. Oh well…fuck it, may as well pick up from where I’m at now.

So…I quit graduate school.

Yeah that happened. Couldn’t manage to pass the required quantitative methods course the second time around, so I dropped out right after failing (impressively, I might add) that particular exam for the second year in a row.

Best decision I’ve ever made.

However, I have been looking for employment for approximately a month, maybe more, and have had no luck.

Fuck.

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I’m Back!

After an extended absence from writing here, I have returned. I doubt anyone cared or noticed, but I do apologize to anyone who may have!

The semester ended with more of a whimper than a bang, and after drinking my own disappointment and making my best attempt to celebrate the accomplishments (in one class, in all other aspects of my first semester of graduate school I am largely proud of my performance) of my peers all in the same night and failing miserably, I returned to my childhood home for a some much needed R & R and promptly slept for the majority of the time I was there. Now, having returned to the university, and more importantly my own house, I am refreshed and have new ideas for things to write about.

As I am sure many of you are aware of, and may have dealt with yourself, the weather in pretty much the entire United States is absolute shit. A polar vortex has descended upon almost the entirety of the country (and contrary to the beliefs of some imbeciles does not, in any way controvert global warming) and snarled up air travel a good bit…

Anyway, after a long two days of travel I finally arrived home and got back to living my life. 

When I lived at in New York (which is where I grew up, I forget whether or not I’ve mentioned that), I was a complete neurotic mess;  I couldn’t go out in public without having ingested a benzodiazepine. Now, however, in my midwestern haven, I seem to have become something of a social person and have, in fact, had two very successful casual dating experiences (after having been a serial monogamist, despite my best efforts). 

This has turned into a post about nothing, with the exception of that last paragraph-type-thing or two, anyone who may have some insight as to why I seem to have completely changed my way of living, please share?

First semester is in the books.

At long last finals weeks has come to an end. The worst of the worst was on the last day of the week, quant. All week long I’ve been binging on caffeine to supplement my usual adderall dosages; sleep has been hard to come by. Which isn’t a bad thing obviously, I mean, I did need the time to study, but having your heart race for the majority of the day and night was not always the most comfortable thing. Now I can just sit back and relax and enjoy the break.

CDC: 6% of teens take psychotropic drugs

I’m wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this? Personally, I see this as the result of increased disconnection and detachment from a society where even your best isn’t good enough. Teens these days are feeling an incredible amount of pressure to not only fit in but to excel; two things which are often diametrically opposed in the harsh elements of the teenage social atmosphere.

The Chart

The debate around adolescents and psychotropic drug use may be quieted — ever so slightly — by new data.

More than 6% of adolescents reported using psychotropic medications during the past month, according to a survey released Wednesday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Six percent is pretty much what I would expect for the prescription of psychotropic medications based on what we know about new disorders and how prevalent they would be among adolescents,” said Bruce Jonas, a mental health epidemiologist with the National Center for Health Statistics at the CDC, who compiled the data.

Psychotropic medications are used to alter the mood, behavior or overall functioning of persons with certain mental health conditions.

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Pharmaceutical Bomb Squads

Pharmaceutically diffusing internal tensions, neuroses, anxieties, fears, and general mental discomfort for well, I don’t know and don’t care enough to look up the information and provide a citation. Mere moments ago I was straightjacketed by anxiety over the amount of studying I need to do for my finals and excessive worries over my status as a graduate student and being able to pay rent, and now….thanks to modern medicine….everything is like a dream and life is like a cloud.

Asking Questions

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“How are you?”

I’m here. 

“No, I mean, how are you doing?” 

Doing in what?

“…life?”

Just fine I guess, I’m a professional student now studying all that stuff I always thought was the most fascinating shit in the world. It still is to some extent; but there are miles and miles of shit you gotta trudge through to get to a point at which you feel good about the progress you’ve made. 

I mean, its a constant battle. Uphill even. Somedays I don’t think I’ve got what it takes other days I feel fine.

I guess I can’t answer the how am I doing chit chat because I don’t even really know how I am doing at the moment.