Daily Prompt: A Source of Anxiety

Name a single source of anxiety? Clocks. Clocks, they’re ubiquitous and despite their tautological nature; they always seem to be ticking toward some obvious or obscure deadline. At some point in time your heart rate and the clock synch up; the muscle and the second hand, uniform in their actions. The fibers of your muscles tensing with each 60 second interval that passes, mental stress driving towards a breakdown at the breakneck pace of the hour. Unlike the clock, anxiety doesn’t reset itself to the start of a new interval; bring you back to baseline. No the effects are cumulative, taxing you for days.

Searching for a Meaning? Why?

I’m going to lay this out there. Those people who are searching ceaselessly for some meaning in life, are wasting their time. The truth, the one and only absolutely objective truth, is that there is no meaning to life; no purpose, no reason to exist, we just do. A consequence of astrophysical events that allowed the earth to congeal out of the molten space matter created by the explosion of a previously existing star; possibly extinguishing “intelligent life” that had previously circled it in a cosmic ellipse of doom. 

All I am saying people is give up this illusion of control, delusions of personal value; the idea that you somehow matter more than the asshole next to you. 

I used to believe that there was some sort of truth, or at least field of study, founded on truth, objectivity that I could go into, and find meaning in that. What I’ve found however, is that my chosen field is just as profit seeking, predatorily capitalistic, and so bereft of objectivity that the shield of anonymity is a necessity in offering honest critique on another’s work. 

“All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie”

This absolute absence of truth is why people need things like god and love; because they are weak. They need that promise of some higher purpose or meaningfulness, and so they engage the cognitive opiates of religion or the pursuit of love. Neither of which actually exist, the latter merely being an exhibition of the human mind’s innately utilitarianism. These things obscure the objective truth and soften its blow upon the realization; which I imagine most people only come to upon the occasion of their final breath. You are born alone, you die alone, and in the middle you are a blind fool if you don’t feel lonely. 

First Impressions Don't Mean A Goddamn Thing

So…you’ve managed to find yourself reading something I’ve written; that’s nice. If you’ve made it this far, I’m shocked. Why would you care what I have to say? I’m not anyone “important” shit, I’m not even very relevant to anything or most anyone at all. My thoughts and opinions don’t really matter, no one’s do; not in this country at least. So why would I take the time to write them out and transmit my thoughts to you the reader? Honestly, I do not have a goddamn clue. Well, I do, but chances are you are too fucking blind to understand my reasoning. First of all, if you think you matter at all in the grand scheme of things, which is what the good ol’ U.S. of A has become, a grand scheme, then chances are you are probably already lost to the machine. 

For anyone who reads this and agrees whole-heartedly with everything I have to say: fuck you, find your agency, your autonomy, shit liberate your morality from the systematic conformity that causes even the non-conformists to conform, and get your own mind, have your own thoughts, ask your own questions. If you are one these people, this page isn’t for you.

If you think I’m dead wrong, you might belong here, and if you can pick and choose things from what I say that you agree with to some degree, alright, you can stay. 

Open your eyes people. It’s now or never, something’s gotta give, and we been givin’ more than we’ll ever get back in return; all in the name of patriotism, and allegiance to the flag. First of all, patriotism is fucking stupid, it was a genetic accident that you were born wherever it so happens you popped out of your mother screaming and squirming and little bundle of joy with no ability to comprehend exactly how fucked up, predetermined, and pointless your fucking existence will be. 

Slaves to the dollar. Working solemnly to reproduce capitalism, which, is the new slavery. Slaves to the almighty dollar. You go to church, believe in god? Does your church ask you to “give what you can”? Sure as shit they do. I bet they follow that up with sermons and teachings of how your belief of god is the right way to believe in god. There is no god, no grand plan, you fucking cowards are just to afraid to realize that your life is it, there is nothing greater than what you know now. Life is a bitch, torturous, arduous, un-rewarding, back breaking, and burdensome, and to find out there is no set of pearly gates to walk through or that there aren’t a number of virgins waiting to suck your cock and allow you to dehumanize them with a fat wad to the face, well that’s just too much to take. What’s the point in all the risk of life if there ain’t a reward. 

I’m sorry to say, there is no point. Everything is random, a function of the cosmic chaos that defines time. You care more about yourself than anyone, everyone does, its only natural, so don’t hide that innate selfishness, don’t cover it up by making tax deductible charitable donations. Hang your head and continue your pursuit of the dollar. We all wind up the same, we all die alone, and we all return to being specs of dust blowing through the wind, returning to the cosmic detritus of the universe, our original state. 

None of this means anything. 

 

Hyperfrenetic, Chemically Manipulated Thoughts of a Stranger